Alcoholism, unless you are the alcoholic, is a disease you have no control over.Even then, if you are an alcoholic, there is no quick or easy solution, sobriety forever is the only way and even then you are still an alcoholic, just one who is not drinking.
Our problem is to learn as much as we can about the disease and offer our help and support when asked. Showing concern and love will always be our priority, whether it feels like it is appreciated and wanted, or not.
Our job is not to judge, cajole, force, pressure, bribe or blackmail because nothing stops an alcoholic from drinking when they want and this type of behaviour only leads us to a place of guilt and regret. Getting angry and frustrated will also achieve nothing, we must detach ourselves because once again, nothing stops an alcoholic from drinking if they want to. Detachment is a concept taught by Al-Anon.
Our plan of action involves being there and knowing what we are dealing with. It is not to punish or reward and definitely not to enable an alcoholic. Enabling involves, covering for them, lying for them, tolerating their lies, minimising the problem or denying the problem exists.Our task is to ensure they are safe.
No matter how hard it is to watch someone destroy themself and, as my son did, drink themselves to death, we must realise, we can love them, support them and even hint that we are concerned but that is the limit of our influence.
Alcoholics are driven by their need for alcohol and even when they try to stay sober, withdrawal can be so terrifying, they would rather continue to drink. The most severe withdrawal symptoms known as the DT's (Delirium Tremens) are life threatening and require immediate medical care. Only alcohol and benzodiazepine withdrawal can result in death.