What can I do?

You may have tried pouring alcohol away, hiding money, checking bottles, questioning them, following them or demanding promises. It can feel as if one more conversation, one more row or one more warning will finally make them stop.

None of those things gives you control over whether they drink. It can leave you exhausted while the drinking continues.

If you are stuck in this cycle, Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs can talk to you about what is happening and what you can change for yourself.

You may be phoning in sick for them, making excuses to family, paying bills they have ignored, replacing money they spent or lying about what has happened.

Covering for them can start as an attempt to protect the family. Over time it can mean you are enabling their drinking.

If you want to talk about the drinking, choose a time when they are sober and you are both calm enough to have the conversation.

Be clear about what you have seen and how it is affecting you. You do not need to prove how much they drink or win an argument about whether they have a problem.

If they agree they want help, they can contact their GP, Drinkline Scotland or a local alcohol service. You can give them the information, but they still have to make the call or attend the appointment themselves.

You may decide you will not give them money for alcohol, get in a car with them after they have been drinking, cover up missed work, allow drunken arguments around the children or stay in the same room when they become abusive.

A boundary only works if it is something you are prepared and able to follow through on.

If setting a boundary could put you at risk because they become threatening, controlling or violent, get safety advice before confronting them. Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline is available 24 hours a day.

If money is disappearing, bills are being missed or debts are building up, contact Citizens Advice Scotland. They can put you through to your local bureau for help with debt, benefits, housing and money problems.

If you are worried about joint accounts, cards, overdrafts or money being taken without your agreement, contact your bank directly and ask what they can do to protect the account.

If they miss work, upset someone, lose money or break a promise because they were drinking, you do not always have to make it disappear for them.

That does not mean being cruel. It means recognising that you cannot carry the consequences of another adult’s drinking forever.

Living with someone’s drinking can wear you down so gradually that you stop seeing how much it has changed your own life. You can get help even if the person who drinks refuses it.